Real
by thefabwitch
Summary: Shelby dies in a tragic car accident and leaves Beth to Quinn and Puck. Quinntana fic, with Quick friendship. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_**To those who are reading my two other stories, I will continue them, but first, I have to get out of this writer's block and this story will be an attempt to pull myself out of it. It all started with a dream. Enjoy !**_

_**Note : This story takes place four months after graduation. Brittany is with Artie and Santana has never had any romantic feelings towards her, and Quinn has feelings for Santana. **_

* * *

**_Flashback. _**

_Tires screeched on the road, followed with a loud '**Crash!**'._

_Within a split second, she wondered if it was a bad idea, or not. But it was too late._

_The brunette plunged into a deep and never ending sleep._

* * *

_Police officers were running around everywhere. Ambulances were parked on the sidewalk. Paramedics were all gathered around the car. Firemen were hurrying to extinguish the fire._

_Everything happened so fast._

* * *

_"What the fuck happened?" Puck called out, Quinn following him in a quick pace._

_The two had been called to go to the hospital as soon as they could. Puck had picked Quinn up from the Fabray household, and as soon as they knew it, they entered the hospital. _

_None of them had any idea of what was happening, but judging the police officer's voice on the phone, it sure had to be something important. _

_"Can anyone tell us why we're here?" Puck exclaimed, getting one of the paramedics attention. _

_The paramedic walked forward to reach them, and Puck was already fuming, "You got something to tell us?" he asked, Quinn nudging his side and mouthing "Keep cool" before they both listened to the doctor._

_"Does one of you know a certain Shelby Corcoran?" the man asked, checking his papers for the right name. _

_Quinn and Pucker eyed each other with a confused look, then turning to the man, both nodding simultaneously. _

_"Please follow me." _

_And without further ado, both of the teenagers were following the man. They had no idea where he was leading them to, but he hadn't uttered a word during their 'walk', so they figured that they would be in for a shock._

_"What the fu-" Puck mumbled, when they arrived in one of the hospital rooms. _

_"Shelby?" Quinn whispered. "That's Shelby?"_

_The paramedic nodded, "She's in a critical situation. Her car crashed. We were lucky to get her out before the car caught fire. But when we got her out, there were no signs of life. We brought her here and we put her on life support. You both have to understand that there aren't many chances that she would come back to us." he explained. _

_Neither Puck or Quinn had anything to say. They were both speechless, their eyes glued to the injured woman, laying unconscious on the bed. _

_"The reason why we contacted you both, was because one of the policeman found something addressed to you. They found it in one of her pockets." he said, pulling out an envelope from his documents and handing it to the two. _

_They both looked at each other, and Quinn hesitantly took hold of the envelope, carefully tearing it open and starting to read the letter out loud. _

_"Noah, Quinn, if you're reading this... If you're reading this, it's because something happened to me..." but her voice soon faltered. _

_Puck looked at her. The boy was obviously trying to keep a strong face, but when he realized what the letter meant, he clenched his jaw and tried as hard as he could to keep the tears inside. _

_"Here, I'll read it." he offered, taking hold of the piece of paper._

_The paramedic left them both in the room, not wanting to seem intruding._

_Quinn and Puck went to sit down on the two chairs that were in a corner of the room._

_Puck then began reading the letter. _

_"Noah, Quinn, if you're reading this, it's because something happened to me. What I'm going to explain, is something that I could never have expressed in front of both of you. So I think that this is the best solution here; writing a letter. _

_No matter how hard I tried to be a good mother, to Beth, I always thought of myself; a failure. I'm a terrible mother, you should both know that. Quinn, you were right. And don't feel guilty about it, because I knew that your words were true. I lived in that small apartment, I had a job which hardly allowed me to have that apartment, that roof, that home where I would feel safe with Beth. When I looked at her, I saw your eyes, Quinn. I'm not her mother. I can't be a mother. I should have known this as soon as I gave Rachel up. I shouldn't have tried to be that woman, adopting someone's baby and expecting to be a great mother. _

_With these words, Quinn, Noah, I need you to understand that only you two, can be the real parents to your child. Take care of her, I know you'll both be the best mother and father to her. She deserves real parents._

_Shelby." Puck whispered the last part. _

_Burying his face into his palms, the letter placed on his knees, he could hear Quinn crying next to him. _

_What were they supposed to do now?_

* * *

**Four months later - Present day.**

"Puck ! Get up !" Quinn called from the bathroom. She could hear Beth crying in her room, and she needed to get ready to go to class.

Ever since Shelby had lost her life in a car crash, Puck and Quinn had adopted their own child. And words wouldn't describe how difficult for them those last couple of months were.

From signing so many papers to regain custody of their own child, to moving into a two bedroom apartment in New Haven in order for Quinn to attend Yale. They had gone through so many things that other teenagers wouldn't even have thought of possible. Even their mother's were outstanded by their ability to control their stress.

Once Quinn was ready to go, she quickly headed to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine. That machine had become their survival kit. Without it, they knew that they would just pass out at any moment of the day. The two hardly had any sleep at all during the nights, and with everything that they were currently going through, it wasn't helping.

Puck had become a stay-at-home father. He looked after Beth while Quinn had class. He sure had grown up in the shortest amount of time. He had to become responsible, patient, and serious, which were things that he wasn't used to, four months ago. Sometimes, he worked in a bar during late nights when Quinn would be home to look after Beth.

Quinn had to balance her time for homework, her time for looking after Beth, and her time for classes. It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but she had started doing that since a month now, and she was rather quickly getting the hang of it.

Even though they were both Beth's parents now, and even though they lived together, slept in the same room, in the same bed, they weren't together. They were friends, and that's what they both wanted. They had agreed on the fact that they weren't made for each other, therefor, it would be easier to have a friendly relationship.

The blonde headed out of the apartment and at that moment Beth was already in Puck's tired arms. He cradled her until she went back to sleep again. He laid her back into her cot and walked into the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee, waiting for it to cool down before he drank it in little sips.

He never had much to do, during the day, since Quinn was in class and he couldn't go out without Beth. So he settled down on the couch, figuring that he would take a shower in a couple of hours. Puck pressed his back against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, breathing in and out, trying to be as relaxed as he could.

He often did that; tried to be relaxed. Because with Quinn rushing around everywhere, he felt rather stressed most of the time.

If his friends back in Lime wouldn't have expected someone to move to New Haven to be a father, that someone would have been Puck. And he was rather surprised himself that he had gone this far.

Puck grabbed his phone that was on the small coffee table. He pressed a few keys before hitting the 'call' button.

Waiting for an answer, he tapped his fingers on his knee.

"Mom?" he asked, when he heard someone pick up the phone on the other end of the line.

Puck had grown closer to his mother ever since Shelby's death. Samara, his mother had been somehow helping him through stressful moments and such. Both of their parent's, as a matter of fact, had been helping them in so many ways, sometimes, they didn't even realize. Judy had helped Quinn to regain her confidence that she had lost when she found out that she was going to be Beth's mother again. And Samara, had helped Puck realize that he wasn't useless. Even though when he was back in Lima, they never really spoke, they never expressed their mother and son love. But when she found out that his son would be a father again, she didn't want him to make the same mistake as she did during his whole childhood. So she told him that she was proud of him, which she honestly was, ad she also told him that she believed in him. And for Puck, that was all he needed.

"Noah, how are you?" she asked.

"I'm alright, Ma', how're you doing?" he asked, fiddling with his fingers.

"Everything's good. Is Quinn out?"

"Yeah, she has class 'til five this afternoon. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"You haven't gotten that poor girl pregnant again, have you?" she immediately asked.

"Nah, not that. Just something that's been on my mind for a few days."

"Then go ahead."

"If we hired a baby-sitter, and I went to work, would we have a little more money at the end of the month? Because Judy is paying for everything and even though she's really helping us, she's wasting her personal earnings, y'know?" he explained.

He didn't hear anything at first, probably because his mother was thinking, but then she spoke up, "I'm not sure that it would be any better. If you hire someone to keep Beth, you might pay her the total of your salary anyway. Baby-sitters these days are quite expensive." Samara told him. "What about your friend who lives in New York. You know, the Latina girl that you used to come home with sometimes." she suggested.

"San? What about her?" he asked, curiously.

"I talked with her mother the other day, and she said that she could use a job. She's taking distance courses, did you know that? So she doesn't have to stay in New York to keep taking them. You could offer her a job, and a home."

"Yeah, I doubt she would want to look after Beth. I mean, the kid cries every night, San would probably be exhausted after a short time of living with us. Besides, she wants to be in New York." he explained.

"Well, from New York to New Haven there are only two short hours of driving."

"Whatever. Maybe I'll call her later. But I'll have to check with Quinn first." he stated, hearing Beth starting to cry again, from her room, "I gotta go now, Beth's awake again." Puck said.

"Go take care of your girl." Samara said.

"Yeah. Bye Ma'."

"Bye Noah."

And with that, Puck hung up the phone and made his way into Beth's bedroom.

"Hey there, monkey face. You're awake again, huh?" he smiled, reaching out to take her into his arms. "Are you hungry? Yeah, you must be hungry." Puck said, using his sweetest voice.

He placed the young blonde on the thick blanket that they had spread out on the floor of the living room. It was her playing area.

He left her there to play with her toys while he went to prepare something to eat. It was already 11am and both of them were getting rather hungry.

Quinn always made some mashed up vegetables for Beth during the evenings, and she would always put the rest in the fridge, for lunch the next day. It was something that she had gotten used to do since they moved in, and it was also very handy when Puck didn't know what to feed the little one.

The two year old squealed when she saw her father approach her with a bowl in his hand. "You happy? You gonna eat some yummy veggies here." Puck smiled.

He always let his sweet side show whenever he was around Beth. Besides, that's how you're supposed to be with babies, right?

* * *

Puck fed Beth and then he took her own on a walk in the nearest park. Then they walked around town, well, Puck walked and Beth was in the pushchair, giggling as Puck sang to her.

When they got back, it was already around 4.30pm, and Quinn seemed to be back already.

"Quinn? You here?" Puck called out, as he opened the entry door, carrying Beth out and folding the pushchair. He let her crawl around for a while ask he tried to figure out where Quinn was.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here." she called out from their room.

The mohawked boy walked inside and saw Quinn sat in front of the mirror, cleaning off her make-up.

"Rough day?" he asked.

"The usual. Long classes when you're as tired as hell isn't something pleasant, you know." she shrugged, getting up from the chair and walking towards Puck, "How did your day go?"

"Oh, y'know, the usual." he smiled, "I took Beth out for a walk after lunch." he told her, walking back into the main room, expecting Quinn to follow, "I called my mom."

"How is she?" Quinn asked, out of curiosity.

"She's fine. She has an idea so that I can get a job, though."

The blonde looked at him with raised brows, indicating for him to continue.

"She said that we could hire San as a baby-sitter. You know, because apparently she takes distance courses or whatever."

"Yeah right, Puck. We're not hiring her to look after Beth." Quinn stated, turning on the coffee machine in the kitchen.

"You still aren't over her, aren't you?" Puck said. He wasn't teasing her, or mocking her, he was actually being serious, trying to understand the girl and her feelings.

"Listen, I don't want to talk about it." she said, stubbornly.

Even though he could have just pushed her to admit a few things, Puck just let it go, and instead, went to play with Beth, leaving Quinn alone in the kitchen.

She hadn't talked to Santana during the whole Summer break. She hadn't even been to see her in New York to visit her after finding out that she had rented a small apartment over there. After the looks, and hugs that they exchanged just after graduation, they had practically lost contact. They had gone their own ways.

"Shit." she muttered, as she realized that she had poured too much coffee in her mug, the hot liquid spilling out of it as she rushed to grab a cloth.

* * *

When everything was cleaned up, Quinn made dinner and they all ate on the kitchen counter, Beth in her high-chair between her parents.

To Quinn, it didn't seem right. The situation that they were in. Having to ask her mother to pay for their rent, rushing in and out of the apartment, seeing Puck sometimes bored out of his mind, having practically no free time, realizing that Beth's life wasn't meant to be like this. Those thoughts always ran around in her mind when they ate dinner together.

It wasn't right.

* * *

That night, after tucking Beth into bed, she prepared herself to go to sleep, knowing that she wouldn't be able to catch a second of sleep anyway.

She joined Puck in bed. There was nothing romantic in between them. Just a strong friendship. A _very_ strong friendship. They had become each other's shoulder to lean on whenever they were stressed about something, they had become each other's listener, offering help whenever one of them needed something. The pair would sometimes seem stronger than some other couples out there, and they were only friends.

Quinn was trying to hold back the tears during the whole day. She always seemed to do it, letting the tears out at night when nobody would notice. Nobody apart from Puck.

She stifled a whimper as the first tears rolled down her cheeks and disappeared into her pillow.

Feeling arms wrap around her, she cried more, letting those tears run down her cheeks freely.

"Talk to me." Puck whispered into her ear.

She never really told him what was going on in her head. Sure, she often got herself into such an emotional mess, and he would just try to comfort her. Buy she never really expressed her feelings. She usually only told him that she felt like she wasn't a good mother to Beth, and that she wasn't sure that she could cope any longer. And she always got away with it.

But this time, when Quinn shook her head, Puck insisted. "What's going on in there. In your head. C'mon Q, you can tell me." he reassured her.

He couldn't see her face as her back was pressed into his chest, so she tapped on her back, wanting her to turn to look at him. "Look at me, and tell me what's going on." he said softly.

She slowly obliged and turned to face her friend, the tears still falling from her eyes.

Puck pushed a strand of hair out of her face as she cried, then pulling her into him, her face buried into the crook of his neck.

"Everything's gonna be fine..." he whispered, stroking her hair, "You're doing great at this whole parent thing." Puck said.

"I'm not... I'm not a good mom, Puck. C-Can't you see? I'm horrible at this. Mothers... They're meant to spend time with their kids, they're meant to make them smile, make them laugh... I-I'm not that... She's unhappy, Puck... This life is making her unhappy..." she tried to explain, letting it all out for the first time.

"What? Of course not. Nonsense, Q. She's really happy, you just can't see it. You can't see the joy in her eyes whenever you come back from class." he said. And he was being completely honest. He could see that sparkle in his daughter's eyes whenever they were both around her. "What you just said is complete bull. Just look at her, she _loves_ you."

Quinn shook her head, "N-No. She can't love me if I'm hardly at home... I'm practically missing out on her life. She barely sees me..."

He quickly interrupted her sentence, as he felt like she was just going to continue talking complete nonsense, "Stop. She loves you, Quinn. Just, trust me. Believe me, I can see that look in her eyes."

"And I can't... Because I don't pay enough attention to her..." she mumbled.

Puck rolled his eyes, "Oh c'mon, don't say that. You're at college, Yale. You can't be everywhere at the same time. You have homework, essays to do at night, it's normal. But in the weekends, you know, when we do those outings sometimes? I think that's the best part of her week. Because it's as if she gets to know you. And you get to know her. Watching you guys just makes me happy, y'know?" he smiled, remembering when they all went out two weeks ago. They had gone to a zoo, and Beth kept giggling at the monkeys and how they kept swinging from branch to branch.

"I guess..." Quinn said, quietly.

"I need to tell you something." Puck said, in a serious tone.

The blonde nodded in agreement, "Go on." she said.

"I want your mom to stop paying for our rent. I mean, I know she's trying to help us and everything, but we can't let her do that all the time." he explained.

"Well, do you have another plan?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Raising a perfect brow, Quinn had a feeling that she knew what was going to come out of his mouth.

"We can ask Santana to help out, so I can get a proper job and start paying for this apartment." he said.

"I'm tired, Puck." Quinn said, obviously trying to avoid the subject that she knew that Puck would bring up. She turned her back to him and pulled the covers over her body before closing her eyes. She wasn't sleeping, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to, but she didn't want to talk about Santana.

Puck was left there, wondering what to do. He figured that he would try and talk to her about it the next day.

"Night, Quinn." he said, leaning over to press his lips against her cheek, then laying on his back, trying to get some sleep.

* * *

_**A/N : Please give me your feedback :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

"Puck ! Get up !" Quinn exclaimed, from the bathroom.

It had become their daily routine by now. Quinn woke up first, preparing to go to class, then Beth woke up, so Puck had to get up to go and comfort her. Then, Quinn rushed out of the apartment, after turning the coffee machine on.

Just the usual.

They had to admit, though, it was becoming very annoying, and much too repetitive.

But that's all they could do, wasn't it? Now that they had Beth, they weren't free to do what they wanted, to go out alone, to sleep in when they could. They just had to accept it.

It was somehow like being trapped in their own world. Trapped in the reality of what they were living.

* * *

Coming back home in the afternoon, greeted by a crying baby and a mohawked guy just about breaking down, wasn't the best thing ever.

"Oh c'mon... You're not hungry... You're not tired... You don't want to play? What do you want, then?" Puck asked, hopelessly as he cradled Beth back and forth in his arms.

Quinn threw her bag aside and went over to the two, furrowing her brows as she got closer to the loud sound of a weeping baby. "Beth..." she mumbled. "Come here." she said, holding her arms out.

But Beth clung onto Puck, still crying.

"Wha-" Puck started.

Quinn shook her head and rushed to their room, holding the back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

She just felt... _Unwanted. _

Slamming the door, she let her body drop down to the floor, her back pressing against the door as she buried her head into her knees.

That was what she talked about with Puck the other night. The feeling of not being a real mother... The feeling of not being wanted.

Beth was only a kid, so she obviously didn't understand that she could hurt someone emotionally, like that. And to Quinn it just felt as if someone pressed a dagger into her stomach. It hurt that bad. Seeing Beth rather lost when Quinn was the one carrying her, she just couldn't take it.

Quinn's cries were hiding noises that came from behind the door. Raising her head a little, she breathed through her stuffy nose and listened. Beth seemed to have stopped crying, and someone was knocking on the door.

Puck.

"I don't want to talk right now." Quinn uttered, feeling like her throat was blocked and someone feeling asphyxiated.

"Quinn. Open the door." Puck stated.

"I said I don't want to talk!" she shouted, her voice cracked as she let the words out.

With her bottom lip trembling once again, she let a few tears run down her cheek as she stood up and headed to the bathroom, instantly looking at herself in the mirror. "This isn't my life..." she whispered to herself, shaking her head.

* * *

_**Flashback** - Graduation Day._

_"I can't." Santana said. "New York, New Haven, Quinn, we'll have completely different lives. I can't do it."_

_"One hour, forty minutes, San, that's all." Quinn breathed out._

_"It's still a large distance. Q, there's nothing in between us, I'm sorry, I don't do relationships." the Latina said, flipping her hands into the air, raising her brows._

_"So the kiss meant nothing to you?"_

_"Just a kiss." Santana stated._

_"A kiss is **never**, just a kiss ! It always comes with feelings! Why are you denying this? Why are you denying us, Santana? I thought we were honest to each other by now." Quinn blurted out, tears flowing freely, "A kiss always means something. No matter whether you ignore it, deny it... It **always** means something." she whispered. "Don't you want me?" she asked, bottom lip trembling and voice wavering. _

_"You can't just ask me that." she sighed, "I told you, I don't do relationships, I don't do 'feelings'. That's just not me. Deal with it." the Latina shrugged._

_"But you could try ! One day or another, you're going to go through it anyway ! Why not try now? Santana, please..." she almost begged._

_Santana shook her head and walked away, leaving Quinn alone in the hallways, next to the Latina's now closed locker._

_Tears broke through her eyes again, and made their way down her cheeks. "Why can't she see it?" Quinn mumbled to herself._

* * *

"Puck, I told you ! I don't want to talk !" she yelled from the bathroom when she heard him banging on the door. "Now go away" she said, stubbornly.

"I'm not going until you calm down. You're not like this usually, Fabray." he told her, his voice audible through the cheap door. "Look, Beth was just in a bad mood back there, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want to be with you... She's been like this all morning, y'know, it was even difficult for me to get her out of her bed, she kept holding on to everything because she's a damn stubborn child, just like you."

That made Quinn's lips quirk upwards to form a small smile, because he was in fact, very true. Quinn could probably get anywhere she wanted with her stubbornness and her cheerleader attitude that she had kept even though she hadn't used in a long time.

Opening the door, she shot a glance at Puck and walked past him, heading to the living room, where Beth was. The blonde smiled at the toddler as she watched her admiringly.

"Have you thought about my suggestion the other night?" Puck said, also walking into the room. He settled down next to Quinn on the sofa and intertwined his fingers.

"I don't want her here, Puck." she said.

The mohawked boy flinched at her cold response.

She really did seem like she was struggling with even thinking of Santana.

"Spit it out, Q." he mumbled, placing a comforting hand on her knee.

Quinn just shook her head in denial, "I told you, that I don't want her here. That's all ! Can't you just understand that? Is it really that hard to just accept those words and move on?" she spat out, pushing his hand away.

Frowning, Puck said, "How about you move on, huh?" before standing up, grabbing his jacket, and walking out of the apartment.

He left Quinn there, on the sofa, alone with Beth.

Alone with her thoughts.

* * *

_**Flashback **- Summer break, moving in._

_She hesitated while looking at the screen. _

_The internet connection had just been installed in the apartment, and Quinn was staring blankly at her computer screen._

_There was a window opened. A conversation on AIM that had yet started. A conversation with Santana._

_Three words._

_**'I miss you.' **_

_And she couldn't even gather up the courage to click 'send'. _

_Quinn felt like a coward, gazing at the screen. Her index finger was on the track pad, trembling in fear as she wondered whether or not she should send the message. _

_She knew very well that Santana wasn't the emotional talk kind of girl, but she still felt as if she needed to tell her how she felt._

_But the words 'I miss you' were nothing compared to how Quinn really felt about the girl, but it hurt as much, just to see them on a screen. Quinn couldn't even bring up enough strength to just call Santana. _

_**Wimp.**_

_**Coward.**_

_So many voices in her head were telling her to just grow some and tell her about her feelings. _

_But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So instead, she held down the 'delete' key, and watched as those three words disappeared from the conversation. She closed the window, and logged off. _

**_Weak. You're just weak._**

* * *

So many things had happened to her, and now she thought that she had become a stronger person. Lies. All of those thoughts were just lies.

Thoughts that she couldn't admit were false. The sensation of being stronger, was just a mask that she held in front of her, not allowing people so see the truth that lay behind it.

But it was something that Quinn was used to doing. Hiding behind something, someone, or a different personality. She had learnt, through the years, that she had to act, in order to be the person that she wanted the others to see.

Only, the mask fell off when she was the most vulnerable, when she felt like her feelings could be hurt. That was an inconvenience to her. Because that meant that when she was in a vulnerable state, all of her feelings would come out at once, more or less leaving someone confused.

She likes Santana. In fact, her feelings that she had towards her, were nothing next to the feelings that she once had for Finn, or Sam, and even Puck. It was a feeling that she never felt before, and in one kiss, she managed to figure out that she had pretty much fallen for the girl.

Confusing? Yes.

But isn't love always confusing?

Isn't it always one of the most complicated feelings?

A lot of people mention how their love is simple, easy. But Quinn has no idea how a person can think that way. To her, love is something intense. Captivating. Everything but easy.

_'Ring!'_ Her thoughts got interrupted when the doorbell rang.

Puck was still snoring next to her, so she swung her legs out of the bed, put on a hoodie and headed to the door, grumbling in annoyance.

_7.34am__? It's a Saturday. What the hell?_

Quinn really had no idea who it was, so she plastered on a straight face, to look polite when she pulled the door open.

Everything seemed to flash through her mind in quarter of a second. From the looks that they had given each other, to the warm ups in cheerleading practice, and the classes that they shared together. Not to mention, the group performances in Glee Club, _and_ graduation day.

When Quinn looked in front of her, she almost chocked on her own breath, feeling her heart beating a million times per second. She felt like she was going to get a heart stroke.

_What is she doing here? _

She figured that Puck had something to do with her presence, so she made a mental note to try not to kill him once he wakes up.

The tension was already there, in between them, Quinn looking at her right in the eyes.

"Santana?" she breathed out. "W-What are you doing here," she stuttered, trying to regain some sort of confidence, even though it seemed impossible at that moment.

"Puck called, asking me if I wanted to spend the weekend here. I said yes. Kinda missed you, Q-tip." she shrugged, before walking past Quinn and into the apartment.

It was as if Santana had forgotten everything.

Quinn was pretty much lacking words. So many questions were flying around, in her head, making her feel dizzy.

"Nice place you got here." Santana said, rather loudly.

That's when Quinn actually landed back on Earth, "Beth is sleeping, could you please talk a little quieter."

"Sure" the Latina smirked, tossing her bag next to the sofa. "So, how's Yale?" she said, respecting Quinn's comment on turning the volume down.

"Yale's good, I guess. There are so many people studying different things, It's kind of hard to adapt, but I've made a few friends anyway." the blonde shrugged, trying to avoid making eye-contact with Santana.

She was scared that if she looked her in the eye again, she would instantly get captured by the darkness inside them. The Latina's eyes were colored dark brown, and they were... Mesmerizing. Nothing more captivating than them existed in Quinn's little world.

"What about your... Distance courses? That's what you're doing, right?" Quinn asked, nervously fiddling with her hands.

She was trying to make conversation because otherwise they would just be surrounded in an awkward silence. And since Puck wasn't awake yet, Quinn couldn't count on him to keep Santana away from her.

"They're great. Still boring stuff, but at least I'm free. I don't have to go to school, and I can just stay at home in front of my laptop to study. Much better than at McKinley, I'm telling you." she chuckled.

"Oh." Quinn said, not knowing what to say.

They heard a door squeak open, and Quinn turned her head to see Puck leaning on the door frame, in his underwear.

"Excuse me. I'll be right back." the blonde told Santana, giving her a false smile which soon turned into a death glare once she started marching over to Puck. "You. Back in there." she said, pushing him into the bedroom and slamming the door shut. "What the _hell_ were you thinking?" she spat out in fury.

"I was thinking of seeing my friend again?" he offered, acting confused.

Puck was sat on the bed, and Quinn was right in front of him, pointing at him with her fingers, throwing threatening looks at him as she talked, "You can't just do that ! I thought you understood what was going on in between us, Puck? You can't just... Fly her over here and think that I'm not going to faint at every moment ! I had history with her, don't you get that?" she whined.

"Yeah, history, maths, and Spanish, I remember. And calm the hell down, she's gonna hear you." he said, calmly.

"I'm not joking here ! And you can't just expect me to be all calm about this. I don't get it... Why now?" Quinn asked, frustrated. "Couldn't you just let it go and leave her in New York? No, you decided to ask her over for the weekend, to torture me. Great, Puck. Freaking great." Quinn said, sarcastically, running her fingers through her short, blonde hair.

"Look, I was just trying to help-" before Quinn could protest, Puck raised his hand and continued talking, "I was trying to help because you're a mess. You keep pulling these faces when you look at your laptop, staring at the AIM window, you keep daydreaming, gazing blankly at some random object. You're not focused. And I figured that if Santana came over, you'd have something to fight for, and you'd come back to us." he explained, "Beth needs you to focus, Fabray, _I_ need you to focus. You can't just come back home everyday, with no emotion on your face and expect me to not help you out. You're a mess, and you know it. Santana will get you out of the trance, of whatever it is that you've put yourself in." he finished, letting out a breath as he did.

Puck stood up, and placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder, "She's gonna help you focus again. Trust me." he said, smiling softly.

Quinn just nodded as he walked out of the room to meet Santana.

How exactly was she going to focus properly when Santana would be walking around in their apartment.

_Oh boy, how will I focus on life when my eyes will be focused on her?_

Sighing sadly, Quinn walked out of the room to meet the two, in the living room.

"I was just talking to San about how we could go eat out tonight? She said that she would pay."

Rolling her eyes, the blonde chuckled, "I guess we could go" she said, watching Puck's insisting look in his eyes. Before she could comment the look he gave her, Santana did that for her.

"Behave, Puckerman." she stated.

* * *

"_Please_ ask her what she wants, before the waiter arrives." Santana scowled, "I really don't know how you two have conversations with her."

"Santana, she's only two." Quinn huffed, looking at the menu, "We'll just order chicken nuggets for her." she shrugged.

Although none of them were talking that much, Quinn was relieved that she wasn't actually alone with Santana, because it was way too soon for her, and she would have probably struggled to get any words out of her mouth while trying to converse with her.

The waiter came to take their orders, and then he went off, leaving the group in an awkward silence at their table.

"So..." Puck started, obviously not knowing what to say. "Oh, how's my hot Jewish Princess?" he asked.

"Berry? She's fine. We see each other practically every weekend. She's cool, I mean, I think that breaking up with Finnocence made her a more interesting person. Mostly because her conversations are not all about him, but also because he's not following her wherever she goes."

"Oh c'mon. Finn's not that bad." Puck disagreed.

"Yeah, you say that because he's your best friend."

They yet again, were surrounded in an awkward silence, as they waited for their drinks.

She tried not to think too much, and she tried her best to not stare at Santana, but she really couldn't help it.

"So, Q, you living your dream at Yale? The fairytale you've always wanted?" Santana asked. She gave Quinn that look which made the blonde know that she was joking around, trying to get on her nerves.

"Fairytale? Which fairytale, Santana? Fairytales are meant to end happily ever after, when the princess gets her prince, and the babies." Quinn scoffed, "I have my baby, and my friend-" she said, shooting a glance at Puck, who just nodded, "Where's my prince?" she asked, looking directly at Santana, _"Or my princess."_ she continued in her head.

Quinn knew that Santana had understood what she was trying to do. She was trying to make her feel guilty. So, to get some sort of revenge, the Latina reached out, under the table, and placed her hand on Quinn's knee.

A feeling deep down in her stomach, instantly hit the blonde.

Gulping, she tried to shove the Latina's hand away. But it was no use.

Her cheeks turned into a dark shade of pink and then, she knew it.

She was doomed.

_Well, if this is meant to be the start of my fairytale, for now, it's a hell of a nightmare._


	3. Chapter 3

It was a Sunday morning and Quinn was sat up in bed, resting her back against the wall, and her face; thoughtful.

She couldn't quite figure out how she was going to act around Santana, when dinner the previous night was already a struggle for her, and still, she had Puck to count on whenever she felt like she would just crash down. When she felt like things were getting awkward, she just had to look at him, and he would give her a reassuring look, putting her right back on track. Though, only for a few minutes.

The effort she had to make to contain herself, and stay at the table, wasn't very pleasant. Whenever she looked into the Latina's eyes, her mind instantly flew back to high school; where everything was simple, and easy. They would go to cheerleading practice, and they would go to class. They would have sleepovers, parties, outings, it was as simple as that. But after that single kiss before Graduation, everything changed. Every feeling that she had ignored up until then, shot out of her and saw the light.

Intense feelings.

Feelings that Santana wouldn't accept.

Quinn knew that it was hopeless to get Santana to feel the same way that she felt about her. But deep down inside, in the depth of her soul, hope still remained. Hope that one day, Santana would give Quinn a chance.

Although she was sure of her feelings, Quinn just wished that everything could go back to how it had been before. She wished that the kiss had never happened. And she wished that she was oblivious of her feelings towards the Latina. After all, it would be easier like that, wouldn't it?

Those times where they would go shopping together, the times where they would hang out with Brittany, as the unstoppable trio, the times that were just as simple as saying 'One, two, three'. She wanted those moments back.

But, there's no such thing as a time machine.

And Quinn just had to accept that. _Accept it and move on_.

But how exactly do you move on when you're stuck in the past? How can someone move on when they keep thinking of the simplicity of things that happened?

The blonde looked across the bed, eyeing the empty spot next to her. Noah often used Sundays to go out and look for a small job, such as walking dogs for the elders, or helping out cleaning the bar that he sometimes worked at.

Someone had to work in order to earn a little money. And while Quinn was always busy with classes, papers to write, exams to study for, that left Puck the only one who had enough free time to look for a part time job.

But despite the money that he earned, it wasn't enough to pay for everything. 'Everything', being the apartment rent, the food, clothes for Beth, transport, and every little thing that they payed for whenever they would go on small outings with Beth.

Sighing, Quinn swung her legs out of bed and stood in her blue shorts, and white shirt, stretching her arms up high and taking a deep breath in. She made her way into the kitchen to prepare coffee, when she saw Santana by the opened window, a cigarette between her fingers, and her mouth blowing out smoke that soon formed a white cloud, that faded away seconds later.

"Santana?" the blonde said, quirking a brow as she shot a confused look at her friend. "You smoke now?" she asked.

"Is that a problem?" Santana questioned, not turning around to look at Quinn.

"Actually, yeah, it is. The smoke isn't good for Beth." Quinn stated, walking over to the kitchen counter, Santana being only a few meters from her.

Physically, when she was near Santana, she felt like her lungs were empty, and that the air around her had suddenly disappeared.

Quinn poured water into the coffee machine but soon paused her actions, "Could you please stop?" she asked.

"Fine, fine !" Santana spat out, rolling her eyes as she flicked the rest of her cigarette outside the window, after making sure that there wasn't anyone passing by underneath. The Latina turned to Quinn and she soon quirked the corner of her lips upwards, forming a smirk, "Well Q, you're hot" she said, making her way towards her and looking at the blonde from top to bottom.

A feeling deep down in her stomach hit her. The same one that she had last night at the restaurant.

Apparently the look on Quinn's face showed exactly how she was feeling, "Sexual frustration, much?" Santana questioned, reaching out in front of Quinn, to turn the coffee machine on.

Quinn swallowed hard as she tried to remain silent when the Latina's arm brushed her stomach. There was no skin contact at all, but just the feeling of being that close to her wasn't something that she took lightly.

Santana kept up the smirk and sat down at the kitchen counter, eyeing Quinn, who hadn't moved an inch since the coffee machine was turned on. "Jesus, Quinn, am I too hot?" Santana teased.

Turning to glare at her, Quinn sat down in front of her friend, because that's what she was, right? Just a friend.

Quinn's eyes moved to look into Santana's, and they gazed at each other for what seemed like a few minutes, only, it was probably just a few seconds. The Latina's eyebrows were slightly furrowed, but still, she held her gaze.

The coffee machine marked the stop of their intense gazing, and Santana suddenly shot off her chair and walked, with heavy footsteps, over to the machine. She poured coffee into two mugs and placed one in front of Quinn as she went to sit down again.

"What are you going to do today?" Quinn asked, quietly, as she played with the mug handle.

Shrugging, Santana replied, "Not sure. You want to do something?" she returned the question.

Quinn fidgeted with her fingers, searching for a reply.

"I can just go if you want me to. I mean, clearly, you aren't comfortable with me around you. I could always leave today instead of tomorrow." the Latina offered.

Her words hurt, they really did. Because to Quinn, it seemed like the girl didn't care one bit. It seemed like she had forgotten everything. And maybe she had. Maybe she didn't want to have any feelings, so she just shut the memories out. _That... That could be a possibility, right? _

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked.

"Drinking coffee...?" Santana answered, clearly confused.

"No." Quinn shook her head, sucking in both of her lips, "What are you doing, _here_?"

Santana raised her head and gave a single nod, seemingly understanding what Quinn was actually asking her. "I'm here to see you guys. Isn't that clear?" she asked.

"Not really, no. It's not clear at all."

"Well then I guess you'll just have to go with it. Because really, I'm only here to visit y-"

But Quinn cut her off before she could even finish her sentence. "After all the stuff we went through together. After what happened just before graduating. After everything, Santana, you're only here to visit us? You're only here to _visit_ _me_? Well let me be blunt, if that's what you're here for, then you can just leave."

Santana looked at her, right in the eyes and shook her head, scoffing as she hopped off the stool and walked over to the sofa, where a few of her clothes were laying. She grabbed them all, obviously angry, and stuffed them into her bag. Quinn watched her every move, and she suddenly had no idea what to do. She was clueless. She knew what was happening, but she couldn't seem to get off of the chair to stop the girl.

_What the hell do I do now...?_

The blonde sat there, trying to think, as Santana walked in and out of the bathroom, rummaging through her bag, and putting her things into it. She didn't even talk, she just moved quickly and prepared to leave.

This wasn't how Quinn expected the weekend to go.

Once she was finished with packing, Santana turned to look at Quinn, shooting her a stern look, "Happy now?" she asked, "Bye, Quinn." she spat out, heading to the front door.

That's when Quinn realized what she had done. That's when she realized that if Santana left,-if she set one foot out of that door-, everything would be over. She wouldn't come back, and she wouldn't contact her. Because when Santana did something like that, it was for good, there was no going back, no regrets.

"Look, San, please don't." Quinn mumbled, barely audible, "Just... Please don't leave." she pleaded, getting off her stool and walking towards Santana who had just stopped in the middle of her way to the door.

"Why?" she asked.

Quinn sighed, "I... I messed up, alright? I thought that by saying that, you would have admitted stuff. But it looks like you have nothing to admit... Now I just... I want my friend, okay? I just want my friend. So please don't go." she said.

"It was just a kiss, Q, I can't believe that you're still thinking about that. It was before Graduation, so if was kind of a goodbye kiss. No big deal." Santana shrugged, making Quinn's shoulders drop in disappointment.

But she didn't say anything, because she didn't want to lose her. "I guess." she muttered, looking at the floor.

They stood in silence until they heard Beth crying from her bedroom.

"I should go and take care of her." Quinn said, before leaving the hallway and walking towards Beth's room.

Santana stood there and dropped her bags to the ground, pushing them towards the sofa with her foot. She flopped onto the black armchair and waited patiently.

"You want to go to the park?" Quinn called out from Beth's bedroom.

The Latina straightened her legs and stood up, making her way to the bedroom. She leaned on the door frame and watched Quinn sooth Beth. Her eyes looked at the blonde adoringly, until she looked up and caught her staring.

"I- Uh, yeah we can go to the park." Santana mumbled before turning away and returning to the living room.

* * *

Once they were both prepared and ready to go, they walked down the many stairs of the apartment block and walked to the nearest park.

"Have you gone back to Ohio since the start of college year?" Santana asked, obviously trying to make conversation.

"No." Quinn shrugged, " Too busy, you know? With essays, revisions, things like that, it's quite hard to get some free time. I'm already glad that I get a few hours free on the weekend, to spend some time with Beth, but other than then-"

"I get it." the Latina stated, taking a quick glance at Beth. Sighing, she then said, "She really does look like you." breathing out a chuckle.

"I guess." Quinn nodded hesitantly, wondering where Santana was going with this. But it didn't really seem to matter, as the Latina soon changed the subject.

"Berry says hi, by the way. " She smiled.

"It's funny how you two are friends now. You used to hate each other." Quinn pointed out, "Or, you used to hate her. I don't think that she's mentally capable of hating someone." she laughed.

"I don't think I ever hated her. I mean, sure, she knew that it wasn't safe to be alone in a room with me. But honestly, I didn't hate her." Santana explained.

Suddenly, a hint of jealousy hit Quinn. Momentarily thinking, she figured that the two girls were probably spending a lot of time together. And somehow, it pained her to think that Rachel may be closer to Santana, than Quinn ever was.

"Do you like her?" Quinn blurted out.

"No." Santana scoffed, making gagging noises.

The blonde thought of refusing her answer, but she didn't want to argue anymore. Santana was going to leave tomorrow, and another argument would make the tension around them even more unbearable than it already was.

They walked for a few more minutes, and their conversation was flowing a little more freely, still with that same tension, but barely noticeable.

Santana caught Quinn looking at her, a couple of times, but in the end, she just brushed it off and sometimes managed a quick smile, before turning her head to look elsewhere.

When they made their way back home, Quinn's phone vibrated.

**Puck :** Where are you three?

She looked at Santana, and at Beth, before typing an answer

**Quinn:** Just a few minutes away from home. We went to the park.

After pressing 'send', she pushed her phone back into her pocket and focused on the direction she was walking.

"So you're leaving tomorrow morning?" Quinn asked, after a few seconds of silence.

"I guess. I have to get back to my courses and stuff." Santana shrugged in response.

Giving her a quick nod, they reached the apartment block.

* * *

Nostalgia, jealousy, anger, sadness, and fear. All those emotions in one single day.

Sighing, Quinn lay in bed, next to Puck, and mumbled out a few words, "You know, everything's so complicated."

"I know." he answered, seriously, "But we got through pretty complicated stuff. Just think. The pregnancy, giving up Beth to Shelby, all the papers that we had to fill, and all those little things that we don't think about. We went to hell and back, Quinn, and we're still here." Puck shrugged. "You can get past this, too. Whether you end up moving on, or being with her, you can get past it. You can get past anything, you're strong."

_Strong... But living in fear._


End file.
